I was practically supine on the floor in the middle of a big rearranging project when a customer asked me for books about death. I told him that we had a Death and Grieving section – did that sound like what he was looking for? “Well, my mother’s dying,” he said, trying for a hint of dark humor, “so I guess that’s for me.”
The section was way across the store, and there was somebody there to help him, but I just didn’t want to put one more jot of concern on his shoulders. So I took him over, gave him suggestions, searched for some books, sent someone down to receiving to fetch something that had just come in. Sure, that’s my job, but in this case, I simply wanted to know first-hand that he was taken care of well before he left.
Finally, I told him I had to get back to my post, and left him in someone else’s capable hands. I touched him on the arm and said, “I’m so sorry for your troubles.” That’s all. But then he knew I’d been there, too. He looked a little startled, and replied, “Thanks. Thank you so very much.”
It doesn’t sound like much of a story here on paper, but you all know what I’m getting at: compassion and just “showing up” comes in the most unusual guises.
Show up.
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Agreed, Zebra! I think anyone who has had someone close to them pass away learns this lesson fast. And it can be shocking — in both good and bad ways — to see who comes forward.
Oh, Liz. Thank you.
Oh, Liz. Thank you — you’re not so bad yourself.
An extra minute, a kind word, a little empathy – it takes so little to make a real difference.
Bingo, Lydia.
Such a touching story – he was lucky that you went that extra step! Do you have the book Tear Soup? It’s really a good one for such a time as this.
Hi there, Barbara — long time no hear! Don’t know “Tear Soup,” but will check it out, thanks.
It’s a situation no one should have to go through, and everybody does. I just wanted him to know he wasn’t alone, even though I’d likely never see him again.
I went to a funeral of the moms of one of my first graders a few weeks back and the minister said it so profoundly: It’s like a period in the middle of a sentence where it doesn’t belong.
Tear Soup is an illustrated picture book but really much more well suited for older children and/or adults. I think you’ll like it – there’s even a touch of humor when Mrs. Cries-a-lot comes over to try to make things better.
LOVE the minister’s comment. That’s a keeper. Thanks for passing it on.